Gensokyo Diaries XI: Yukari
by Amoridere
Summary: Anyway, this is Yukari's diary from Gensokyo 20XXI onward and, while not as sporadic as Ran's, it may be inconsistent and come at large intervals between entries.
1. In the Asylum

_Violet Diary I: In the Asylum _

_Even though I can barely see, Ran encouraged me to write a diary, so this is my first entry and I am staying in asylum to help me get over some of my mental difficulties, due to my experiences at the hands of that fat bastard and disgusting lecherous lackeys. So far, I am learning how to get used to being touched, something I have come to loathe, just like I do myself. I'll be out and home at some point but, right now, I am to undergo readjustment counseling. At least, I am not too far away from where we are to live, just down the road._

_To be honest, I am rather surprised that I was allowed to be placed in an asylum for recovery, as they haven't been very kind to us before. The staff here are rather kind and usually try to engage me in conversation but I don't have very much to say. If they aren't trying to do that, then they were trying to reintroduce me to contact. I have been informed that I am making progress but I know there is still much to go._

_As I am "readjusting", I still live with the memories of time past and there isn't any amount of readjustment counseling that can erase those. I suppose, to a certain degree, I am free from any more suffering, at least for now, but I can never forget. Of course, that is why I am in here in the first place, as my memories do cause a me a great deal of madness. Even as I readjust, I know some of that madness of those bitter memories will still remain and only time will tell if it can loosen its hold._

_~八雲 紫_


	2. The Secrets I hold

_Violet Diary II: The Secrets I hold_

_As I write, I suppose what secrets I have are safe but they will still torment me. I know Reimu can't sense danger and that sadistic fuck taunted me with what information he gave me about what he's done to her (though, he never told me why but I could see it). He's mentally conditioned her not to fear or sense danger and I can only hope that her wasn't intending to use have her as his doll, like he had me. I am also aware that Yume passed away and I feel awful for that, as well. He was drugging them both to be quiet, even doing so right in front of me, and only Reimu lived to cry, not Yume, as the dose was too high. I cannot really say if it contributed to her death along with or if she died because of that or the trauma of being separated from her mother leading to failure to thrive but I do know she died and I didn't do a thing about it. I've betrayed them both and Ran and myself as well._

_As I write, I must note that I wasn't given a choice in the matter of fate regarding either of the two and it was either I agreed to it or didn't. He took my hand and pointed it to where he wanted it to go and I didn't stop him, effectively making my choice. For allowing that to happen, I feel my "defilement" was much deserved for allowing this happen and I can only hope either of them will and can forgive me._

_~八雲 紫_


	3. At Home

_Violet Diary III: At Home_

_After much progress, I have been allowed to go home, where I can finish recovery. The staff, to be honest, were sorry to see me go but all the while celebrated my recovery milestone. I did remember to thank them for their kindness. Frankly, I do think our new home could be a bit better but I'll manage, as here isn't much for me and at least I have somewhere to live, dammit! It'll be like Gensokyo all over again, be it small, and that is rather comforting to me._

_Our house is of medium size with one floor and it looks and smells nice. My room isn't very big but it is painted violet, with a bed, a nightstand, a radio, and a rocking chair, along with knitting tools._

_I do believe I am content._

_~八雲 紫_


	4. Dutiful Son-in law

_Violet Diary IV: Dutiful Son-in law_

_Ren is an intriguing one and very kind one, quick to assist or visit whenever the time arises, sometimes staying the night, asking for very little (he isn't really picky with sleeping places, though, as he even reverted to his fox form and slept in a cardboard box). When the others are busy, he sits by my side, asking if I need anything or to keep me company. Surely, I couldn't have asked for a better son-in law._

_~八雲 紫_


	5. The Slattern Returns

_Violet Diary V: The Slattern Returns_

_Well, they always say even past ghosts never vanish and I found myself dealing with Reimu's birth-giver. I never did like Reiko, believe it or not, actually, I've hated her because of what had happened several years ago. If that bitch thinks she is going to have Reimu back with then she'll have another thing coming! I'd be dead if she so much as dares to take her from me again. I suppose I'll have to live with it, as Ran did state she wasn't going to have any sort of foolishness and would take the children somewhere else. Can't really say that I would blame her, though, as she is pregnant and we have gone through enough turmoil._

_If that slattern is to stay, then fine but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I'll put up with her, so I won't have to not hear the end of it from Ran, especially after the bitch-slap I had received. In the end, Reimu would never pick her._

_~八雲 紫_


	6. Nightmares

_Violet Diary VI: Nightmares_

_As of late and right after Ran's had her babies, I have been having nightmares and they come at such a severity to the point that I am even afraid of falling asleep. I wonder if the nightmares could be a message to something, to horrible times yet to come. The more I try to shove them away, the more they come and the more worse they become. I don't want to keep having them but, at the same time, I keep them to myself because I don't want to worry. Hopefully, they'll cease._

_~八雲 紫_


	7. As My Sanity Leaves Me Yet Again

_Violet Diary VII: As My Sanity Leaves Me Yet Again_

_Times have started to change and I sense the impending turmoil. Unfortunately, I find that sanity is slowly leaving me. I hallucinated yesterday and I heard voices the other day, both growing more and more frequent. I don't know what to do and I feel afraid. As I write, my eyes are welling up in tears and I am trying to keep together the pieces of my fragmented mind. _

_Of course, my sanity is not my only worry, no. There is a war that cannot be won but will be fought. This is a war that will lead to destruction, sorrow, death, illness, insanity, grief, starvation, and cold. but, before the cold, there will come a great fire, screams, and injuries.I know this because those are the stuff of nightmares. I shall bury my diary now._

_~八雲 紫_


	8. Time's Passage

_Violet Diary VIII: Time's Passage_

_It has been a long time since my reality faded and delirium had taken over and since the winter had begun. Bizarrely, it feels as if a day has passed but I know that not to be the truth. It had been a year at the least and three years at the most since then. So much has happened and it seems my vision has started to clear, just as the delirium starts to vanish. On that note, something within tells me that a long-forgotten wait is nearing its end and the climate and seasons shall soon go back to its previous or otherwise predictable cycle. _

_As I write, I feel the end of our suffering nearing its end and it will only be matter of time before the world rebuild's itself. Be noted, that when the world does rebuild, it will not be the same as it once was and neither will it be perfect, though, for once, we'll have some sort of peace._

_~八雲 紫_


End file.
